Back from Turkey but with a sad personal update...

Remember me?! So as you know I posted almost two weeks ago now that I would be going to Turkey for a week, but I'd be updating as soon as I got back and tell you all about it. Well, it's now almost been a whole week since I've been back and I haven't posted a thing, and I haven't even uploaded any holiday photos to my laptop.

Well the reason for the above, and many of my followers on Twitter will already know this, but sadly my Grandpa passed away on Sunday 8th August. Every time I write it down, or tell someone, it truly doesn't seem real, no matter how many times I say it. He was 88 years old and I am absolutely devastated.

As previously said, if you follow me on Twitter you may know that my Grandpa has been ill since the beginning of the year, in fact, since the day of 1st January 2010 when he had to go into hospital and to be honest, he's been in and out ever since and in April went to live in a nursing home as he was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. Thankfully, although the disease did sometimes make him confused, he always recognised my family and I, and the nursing home was a 5 minute walk from my home, which was such a comfort.

My Grandpa was like a second father to me. He taught me how to read music when I was 5 years old, and played in all my violin exams, and waited outside for every piano exam, and music lessons that I took. He was the cleverest person I've ever met and ever known, even up until this day. He got me through every single exam, and checked every single item of work I ever handed in. In fact, he was my education, my grades were down to him and nobody else. I would come home from school and then had my main schooling from him. Because although I did like school, it was from my Grandpa's education that I truly learnt. We would sit for hours and he taught me everything from grammar to Shakespeare, to French to religion! And somehow he always managed to predict what would come up in my exams, and for my A Level English he managed to guess pretty much all my questions, and when I got 100% in those modules my friends were convinced I'd had a sneak peak at the papers!!! But then the art side of me did not come from him, and although it was something he had relatively no background in, as I was the youngest relation to him, he always saw me as the cute and quirky one, and my love of fashion and bright make up and nails always put a smile on his face even though half the time he probably wondered what on earth I was thinking!

But I was just one of many people who he taught. Earlier in his life he taught Paul McCartney and Bill Kenwright and lots of other famous people. He also set up a local talking newspaper system for the blind, even though at the time he had problems with his hearing. I'm completely rambling now, but he was such a huge part of my life and I loved him so much that this is all just such a shock to me. Well I say it's a shock, but of course I know he was 88 and Motor Neurone Disease is a horrible, horrible illness. But this time last year he was still teaching and inspiring me and even very recently I was discussing master courses with him and he was so moved that I decided to study for one as during the War he had to give up his dreams of studying for one, and always hoped I would.

He impacted so many lives and was so very loved. I miss him so much, and yet so many people go through a lot worse things than me so I go from being devastated to feelings of guilt. I know he was so ill towards the end of his life, but he always recognised me and although I hated to see him suffer, I just feel so empty now.

If you've read this far then I am truly thankful, and I'm so sorry for rambling again. I ummed and ahhed about whether this post had its place on my blog, as I am unfortunately not one of those bloggers who can create a fusion of personal and beauty/fashion related content, but then I thought that this is huge deal for me, and you guys mean the world to me, so I wanted you to understand why I may be a little slack lately. I need time to grieve but sitting around doing nothing does me absolutely no favours. Every time I stop and think the tears come and I cannot progress with anything. I have a lot of commitments which I cannot let suffer, and my blog is my my personal baby, and although some may think it's shallow to continue, it's just what I need to keep my mind occupied. I can't promise I will be so on top of everything, but I have many posts planned from before my holiday so will begin with those.

Again, thank you for reading and for being understanding, and a huge thank you to all of you who have offered me such kindness, it truly means the world to me. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

xoxo

16 comments:

  1. You're so lucky to be able to call such a wonderful man you're Grandfather. He'll always be alive in your memories my lovely & there's now one more beautiful star in the sky.

    Sending lots of love your way!
    xoxo

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  2. Your grandfather sounds like an amazing person! So very sorry for your loss and lots of hugs are coming from my end :) xxx

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  3. Im so sorry to read about your loss ***lots of hugs***

    Sorry I never know what to say....

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  4. RIP Grandfather. He sounds like he was a lovely guy who lived a good life. Chin up x

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  5. It's so good that you have great memories of your Grandfather as these will carry you through tougher times as you go through the grieving process.

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  6. What a truly lovely man your granfather sounds. Even when people have been ill for some time it's still always a shock when they actually pass away. My advice would be to just keep busy, keep doing the things you love, because thats probably what he would want. Lots of hugs xoxo

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  7. Hugsss. It doesn't sound shallow, everybody deals with things in their own way and this is your way.

    He sounds like a wonderful man, and everything hes given you is still there.

    Hope you're ok xxxx

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  8. I had tears in my eyes reading that (I would have cried if I was at home - can't do that in the office. Lol).
    Your Granddad sounds like he was an amazing man, just keep treasuring those memories you have with him.
    Sending all my love to you and your family at this sad time xx

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  9. You are lucky to have had such a special man be apart of your life. Im really sorry for your loss x

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  10. Im so sorry for you loss-sending love your way! xx

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  11. Your grandfather sounds like a wonderful man, it must have been so hard losing him, sending lots of hugs your way x

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  12. Awwww you lovely lot, you're making me cry! Thank you so, so much for your lovely comments, your support means so much to me. I'm doing okay today but still have that empty feeling inside. And @beautyandthebeast- I know the feeling, but just the fact you commented and left love means the world to me, so thank you ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

    xoxo

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  13. Oh Georgie sweetheart :( I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Sounds as if he was a wonderful man, one whose life was obviously made all the better for having you in it as yours was by having him in it. As Jennie said, he will always be alive in your memories.
    Thinking of you and yours, Laura (boo) xxx

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  14. Thank you sweetness, that means such a lot. You're all sweeties. All your support means such a lot to me.

    xoxo

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  15. I am so sorry. He sounds like a truly amazing person. x

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  16. Thank you Lilian Funny Face, he was :(.

    xoxo

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